‘You're in love with the guy. You find time to be together each day. He makes you happy and giddy and all your dreams come true,’ my mentor starts off nonchalantly. ‘Now, tell me about your buts.’‘My buts?’‘When it comes to this relationship, where do you stop loving? Where do you say that you like… Continue reading To love or to ‘but’?
My life had been laid out in neat stacks of controlled chaos. The wonderland I was going to live at. The group of lovely weirdoes I was going to spend time with. That book I was going to complete with a realistic deadline. I kept a floral-print spiral notebook filled with lists of chores and… Continue reading Well-made plans
As I dozed off on the dusty couch for an afternoon nap, I pondered on the nature of privilege and privacy. The fact that I could arrive in this room to sleep in the middle of the day. That I have friends with extra couches and blinds on their windows to shut out the sun.… Continue reading Temporary
Who’s your boss?
‘Why do you rely on that teaching, that method?’ a friend asked me kindly. ’What does it give to you that you don’t already have?’ For a brief second, my brain froze up, struggling to wrap itself around the question, but I relented shortly. She was right to ask it. Indeed, I had recently named… Continue reading Who’s your boss?
My prison break
‘Everything around me solidified,’ I recited my last night’s meditation experience to my mentor. ’It was as if in the entire creation held only me and my bedroom. Nothing else had form, nothing else seemed to exist anywhere.’ She’s a small woman, my spiritual mentor. Very humble, very human and has her own quirks, but… Continue reading My prison break
Experiment of freedom
There was a dream and then there wasn’t. As soon as I woke up, I forgot all of it. Still, I grabbed my notebook and wrote down three sentences: The concept of free will is a factor of the ego. Any act of freedom leads to pain. Love will set us free. The what? I… Continue reading Experiment of freedom
The Ego and the Spirit
Who am I? The eons-old human question – who are we? Naturally, we are the ones that know our name, title, geography, sex, our list of positions and achievements. But aren't these just a tiny parts of us? A label, a medal, a happenstance.Who is aware of all that we are? I can be aware… Continue reading The Ego and the Spirit
We all belong
Right before bedtime, I sat down to meditate. The bed was right there, promising a nice long sleep full of pleasant dreams, but I felt restless. As if it wasn't time yet. As if I had to finish something before I slept that night. Nothing came to mind, so I sat down and took a… Continue reading We all belong
Entering a small patch of forest, I asked the island spirit to walk with me today. We were old friends for I had felt its greeting each time I stepped on the shore. It was a sunny, quiet day and I had been longing for company. The time was now.As I expanded my consciousness to… Continue reading Orgasmic nature