‘You're in love with the guy. You find time to be together each day. He makes you happy and giddy and all your dreams come true,’ my mentor starts off nonchalantly. ‘Now, tell me about your buts.’‘My buts?’‘When it comes to this relationship, where do you stop loving? Where do you say that you like… Continue reading To love or to ‘but’?
My life had been laid out in neat stacks of controlled chaos. The wonderland I was going to live at. The group of lovely weirdoes I was going to spend time with. That book I was going to complete with a realistic deadline. I kept a floral-print spiral notebook filled with lists of chores and… Continue reading Well-made plans
As I dozed off on the dusty couch for an afternoon nap, I pondered on the nature of privilege and privacy. The fact that I could arrive in this room to sleep in the middle of the day. That I have friends with extra couches and blinds on their windows to shut out the sun.… Continue reading Temporary
Welcomed my birthday in silence this year. If one could call two dogs pouncing after sleeping ducks – with all the thumps and squeaks and the slap of wings and the paddle of webbed feet – a silent affair. As if anything in nature is ever silent. I had to invent silence. That morning I… Continue reading Silent affairs
Life is time
‘It’s not fair,’ a friend cried into my earbuds. ‘Life’s not fair! Why is life doing this to me?!’ I listened to her breaking voice, my eyes caressing the outlines of the trees in the dusk. She was an adult, a mother of two. But her words were that of a helpless baby screaming bloody… Continue reading Life is time
Who’s your boss?
‘Why do you rely on that teaching, that method?’ a friend asked me kindly. ’What does it give to you that you don’t already have?’ For a brief second, my brain froze up, struggling to wrap itself around the question, but I relented shortly. She was right to ask it. Indeed, I had recently named… Continue reading Who’s your boss?
Inside human sandbox (with a dog)
The attacks on Ukraine with increasing human casualties have caused me to finally face something I had been reluctant to touch before. The idiotic and grotesque face of humanity that each of us wears to an extent, but seldom wants to admit. For a while I thought I was feeling disappointed, even angry at the… Continue reading Inside human sandbox (with a dog)
Sleep with love
Yesterday a lady, an esoteric practitioner told me a story about a client who hadn’t been able to sleep for several nights after one session with her. As if some part of the person had become awake and didn't want to fall asleep again. It felt like a horror story to me.How can one function… Continue reading Sleep with love
‘Caress yourself, slowly. Feel into every piece of you that you love. Perhaps the softness of your hair or the skin on your cheek. Or the feeling of pressure underneath your feet or how gently your tongue rests at the roof of your mouth. Feel into everything you love about yourself and bring it alive…’… Continue reading Inside job
Death and peace
This year is ending and another one, perhaps an ominous one, is arriving shortly. Last week, I've heard so many predictions of doom for the world at large that it's made my head spin a little. I agree with some of it. As always, there will be changes. Both for better and for worse. Personally… Continue reading Death and peace