Welcomed my birthday in silence this year. If one could call two dogs pouncing after sleeping ducks – with all the thumps and squeaks and the slap of wings and the paddle of webbed feet – a silent affair. As if anything in nature is ever silent. I had to invent silence. That morning I… Continue reading Silent affairs
Life is time
‘It’s not fair,’ a friend cried into my earbuds. ‘Life’s not fair! Why is life doing this to me?!’ I listened to her breaking voice, my eyes caressing the outlines of the trees in the dusk. She was an adult, a mother of two. But her words were that of a helpless baby screaming bloody… Continue reading Life is time
Blame the guilty (or stop?)
‘Now you’ve done it!’ She yelled at him triumphantly over the rooftop of the car, or what was left of it. ‘Do you see it now? You can’t go on like this! You have to get some help!’ Her accusations battered at his already-shocked state. His neck bulged in frustration as blood rushed to his… Continue reading Blame the guilty (or stop?)
Who’s your boss?
‘Why do you rely on that teaching, that method?’ a friend asked me kindly. ’What does it give to you that you don’t already have?’ For a brief second, my brain froze up, struggling to wrap itself around the question, but I relented shortly. She was right to ask it. Indeed, I had recently named… Continue reading Who’s your boss?
Inside human sandbox (with a dog)
The attacks on Ukraine with increasing human casualties have caused me to finally face something I had been reluctant to touch before. The idiotic and grotesque face of humanity that each of us wears to an extent, but seldom wants to admit. For a while I thought I was feeling disappointed, even angry at the… Continue reading Inside human sandbox (with a dog)
My prison break
‘Everything around me solidified,’ I recited my last night’s meditation experience to my mentor. ’It was as if in the entire creation held only me and my bedroom. Nothing else had form, nothing else seemed to exist anywhere.’ She’s a small woman, my spiritual mentor. Very humble, very human and has her own quirks, but… Continue reading My prison break
Sleep with love
Yesterday a lady, an esoteric practitioner told me a story about a client who hadn’t been able to sleep for several nights after one session with her. As if some part of the person had become awake and didn't want to fall asleep again. It felt like a horror story to me.How can one function… Continue reading Sleep with love
Bad human day
Some days I feel I'm a gift to mankind. Other days I'm not sure if I even exist. Sometimes I'm so loving it's borderline awkward. Other times you could cry me a river and I couldn't care less if I tried. Today I'm just a joke. I'm learning Spanish and getting pretty good at it.… Continue reading Bad human day
Inside job
‘Caress yourself, slowly. Feel into every piece of you that you love. Perhaps the softness of your hair or the skin on your cheek. Or the feeling of pressure underneath your feet or how gently your tongue rests at the roof of your mouth. Feel into everything you love about yourself and bring it alive…’… Continue reading Inside job
Experiment of freedom
There was a dream and then there wasn’t. As soon as I woke up, I forgot all of it. Still, I grabbed my notebook and wrote down three sentences: The concept of free will is a factor of the ego. Any act of freedom leads to pain. Love will set us free. The what? I… Continue reading Experiment of freedom