Last night I dreamed. I was in a large workshop space, light wooden floors, colourful textiles with inspiring quotes on the walls. A circle of people, including myself, sitting on sturdy pillows. A teacher standing in the center of the circle. That's odd, I remember thinking. In most workshops, teachers don't stand in the middle… Continue reading One task
The opposite of fear
The night after posting my sex-piece, I woke up panic-stricken. My body was shaking in intense terror that completely overtook my inner child. The feeling was a mixture of anxiousness with a dash of helplessness and a stab of loneliness in a grand pool of feeling exposed and vulnerable. What if they don’t like me?… Continue reading The opposite of fear
Imagine sex
Parts of me are shaking as I start this piece. Feels like the most vulnerable thing I've ever written, while also being seriously crooked, bumpy and weird. Much like the process of sexual awakening itself. First, a short confession I love sex. I want sex. I don’t like doing it. Not an easy thing to… Continue reading Imagine sex
Death-bringer
Looking at the women in our dance circle, I took a slightly trembling bow to signal my willingness to embody a Goddess for them. A little nervous, I set my intention to simply hold witness to the wisdom of the energy and if nothing else arises, to the wisdom of body in movement. For my… Continue reading Death-bringer
What is love?
On a chilly November morning in 2012, I was sitting silently on the floor of a cozy attic. The rain rattled on the windows, offering a steady melodic backdrop to our self-awareness training. Mindfulness is all the hype now, but back then it was simply time spent in quiet inquiry.‘What is love?’ The teacher broke… Continue reading What is love?
It is our light
The new moon just passed, reminding me of the practise I adopted a few months ago. One thought, one action, one moon. Little by little, this practice has changed my life with each cycle. It's quite simple. At the first week of the actual moon cycle – not a euphemism for my period – I… Continue reading It is our light
Forgiven
She stepped up to the podium. The woman who had agreed to dance my dance. To mirror my truth and help me see myself more clearly. She took a breath, a bow. Her hands moved... then her head. Her body tensed. I cringed. Do you remember this song Killing Me Softly by Roberta Flack? Strumming my… Continue reading Forgiven
The void in us
Have you met the place inside you that stays empty, no matter what you try?The place that’s always uncomfortable and home to a selection of various fears? I call it the void inside me. The crater that can not be filled. Today I think it’s an echo of the big Void that existed before the… Continue reading The void in us
Origins of anger (two)
Before you continue, read this part first. Standing in a simple whitewashed chapel, I have the body of a teenage girl. Fourteen, perhaps fifteen. I feel (or she feels) cornered, contained, humiliated. Tears are streaming down our face as we clench in mad rage. It’s not fair! The scream echoes in our head as the… Continue reading Origins of anger (two)
Origins of anger (one)
Deep in a guided, subconscious healing journey, I rage and weep in front of my therapist. ‘I am so angry, so angry at them all! This world is doomed and I can't do anything. I just want to hurt him, hurt all of them for doing this to me, to us!’ My fists clench as… Continue reading Origins of anger (one)
Well of Peace 